Billy-Madison Movie Quote

Billy-Madison Movie Quote

Karl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some. Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you. Karl: I'm sorry. Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?

Brian Madison: Oh, Billy Billy boy. When are you gonna find what ever it is you're looking for? Billy: Here's a nice piece of shit.

Billy: No I will not make out with you! You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, people, not to make out with you! Go on with the chlorophyll!

Juanita: That boy is a fine piece of work. He's a fine piece of ass though, too!

Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes! I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy! Billy: Lady, you're scaring us!

Frank: I think Billy and his girlfriend are playing water polo. Jack: Maybe they're playing Marco Polo. Marco! Frank: Polo! Man, that's a good game.

Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson? Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974? Frank: 1974. Billy: Meg Ryan.

Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy: I swear to God I'm sick! I can't go to school. Juanita: If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits! Billy: Oh my God! I'll go to school!

Billy: I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
Billy Madison: Back to school! Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool! I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight! Ohhhh, back to school! Back to school! Back to school! Well, here goes nothing!

Brian Madison: Remember that spelling bee you won in the first grade? Rock: r-o-k? Billy Madison: Yeah, so what's your point? Brian Madison: r-o-C-k! Billy Madison: Ohhh yeh! The c is silent.

Billy Madison: No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? this girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.

Juanita: Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too.

Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made 'em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy. Billy Madison: Lady, you're scaring us.

Frank: I think Billy and his girlfriend are playing water polo. Jack: Maybe they're playing Marco Polo. Marco. Frank: Polo. Man, that was a great game.

Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson? Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974? Frank: 1974. Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.

Frank: When I graduated from first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.

Billy: He's gonna shit when he realizes it's shit.

Billy: He called the shit poop!

Veronica Vaughn: No milk will ever be our milk.

Knibb High Principal: Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I will probably just snap.

Karl: I ate some Triscuit crackers in the car, you should have had some. Eric: Well, maybe if you told me they were delicious Triscuit crackers I could have enjoyed them with you. Karl: I'm sorry. Eric: Well, "sorry" doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?

A am a great friend of public amusements, they keep people from vice.
Samuel Johnson





The sincere friends of this world are as ship lights in the stormiest of nights.
Giotto di Bondone