Funny Witty Saying
Someday is not a day of the week.
Make service your first priority, not success and success will follow.
I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything.
People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them, 'How do you think I got the job?
Dick Cheney
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
George W. Bush
I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.
Mel Brooks
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Douglas Adams
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields
I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W.C. Fields
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Somerset Maugham
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie
There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
Jim Morrison
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble.
Mark Twain
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business.
Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
Mark Twain
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.