Funny Witty Quote
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble.
Mark Twain
Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing.
Mark Twain
Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
Mark Twain
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
A technical objection is the first refuge of a scoundrel.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
If you bow at all, bow low.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
Laughter is inner jogging.