Funny Wedding Saying
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
"Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse."
Louis Saffan
"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men."
Aristotle.
"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much."
Colin Chapman.
"When you see what some girls marry, you realise how much they must hate to work for a living."
Helen Rowland
"What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light."
Mark Twain
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
"My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement."
Sally Poplin
"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."
Tony Curtis.
"A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas."
Alice Glynn.
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
Steve Martin
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx
"In married life three is company and two none."
Oscar Wilde
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
Spike Milligan
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates
"The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs."
Oscar Wilde
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante
"Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."
Mickey Rooney
"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues."
Helen Rowland
"My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact."
Roseanne Barr