Funny Simpsons Quote
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
Life is just one crushing defeat after another.
Save me, Jeebus. Jeebus, where are you? I want Jeebus.
I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.
... and I'm not impressed easily... Wow! A blue car!!
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away.
Wow! A baby and a free burger! Could this be the best day of my life?
I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth.
The sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
Come family! Sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow.
Dear Lord, the Gods have been good to me.As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... Thy will be done. (chomp, chomp, chomp)
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.
Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?
Mayor Quimby
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.
Bart
I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.
Mr. Burns
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Ralph
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Homer
Homer no function beer well without.
Homer
Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.
Moe
That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
Principal Skinner
I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children...
Superintendent Chalmers
Yar, sometimes I wonder why I bother plunderin' at all.
Sea Captain