Funny Simpson Quote
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
Hey, I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
Life is just one crushing defeat after another.
Save me, Jeebus. Jeebus, where are you? I want Jeebus.
I don't have to be careful. I got a gun.
... and I'm not impressed easily... Wow! A blue car!!
You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away.
Wow! A baby and a free burger! Could this be the best day of my life?
I don't mind being called a liar when I am lying, when I am about to lie or just finished lying... but not when I am telling the truth.
The sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
Come family! Sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow.
Dear Lord, the Gods have been good to me.As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... Thy will be done. (chomp, chomp, chomp)
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.