Funny School Saying
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Jeff Foxworthy
When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.
First Law of Applied Terror
The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
Second Law of Applied Terror
80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
Third Law of Applied Terror
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror
The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Corollary to the Fourth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Fifth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror
I do not know what 'moss' stands for in the proverb, but if it stood for useful knowledge... I gathered more moss by rolling than I ever did at school.
Ernest Shakleton
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.
George Carlin
In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show...
Bill Maher
A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
George Santayana