Funny Relationship Quote
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
Ogden Nash
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing."
Duane Dewel
"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher
"Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them."
Steve Martin
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
Joan Rivers
"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
Woody Allen
"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."
Albert Einstein
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry.
"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."
Steve Martin.
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Groucho Marx.
"In married life three is company and two none."
Oscar Wilde.
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
Spike Milligan.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates.
"The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs."
Oscar Wilde.
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce.
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx .
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.