Funny College Quote
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car, but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education, but the means to an education.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
Albert Einstein
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life.
Plato
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income -- which he then spends sending his son to college.
Bill Vaughn
80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
Third Law of Applied Terror
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror
The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Corollary to the Fourth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Fifth Law of Applied Terror
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror
Bryn Mawr had done what a four-year dose of liberal education was designed to do: unfit her for eighty per cent of useful work of the world.
Toni Morrison
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
Helen Keller
Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!
Lewis Black
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)
Woody Allen