Funny Bush Quote
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."
"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself."
"The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case."
"If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura."
One guy who's excited about the handover is President George Bush. He's thrilled about turning over power back to Iraq. You know why? Because he's thinking about invading them again.
David Letterman
In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.
Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update
President Bush said that the people who are attacking our forces in Iraq are getting more and more desperate because we’re making so much progress. So just remember, the worse it gets, the better it is.
Jay Leno
President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
Craig Kilborn
Oscar nominations came out today. Up for best actor, Sean Penn for 'Mystic River,' Jude Law for 'Cold Mountain,' and of course, George W. Bush for 'Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction.'
Jay Leno
President Bush flew over Iraq in Air Force One, saw the devastation and said 'Don't worry about this, we'll get whoever did this.'
Craig Kilborn
On Thursday, President Bush will declare that the war with Iraq is over, so now he can concentrate on squandering his high approval rating.
David Letterman
President Bush is asking Congress for $80 billion dollars to re-build Iraq. And when you make out that check, remember
there are two L's in Halliburton.
David Letterman
The Bush Administration said there will be a delay in restoring a newly elected democratic government in Iraq. However, they said the delay will not be as long as the one we have had in this country.
Jay Leno
Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
Jon Stewart
The Pentagon said this week the war in Iraq cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is: operations, $10 billion;personnel, $6 billion;getting Bush re-elected — priceless.
Bill Maher
As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.
Craig Kilborn
Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then, he declares war.
Jay Leno
President Bush's approval rating has dropped another five points just in the last week.It's now down to 58 percent. I'm not sure who should be more worried, Bush or Saddam Hussein.
Jay Leno
President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.
David Letterman