It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?
Monty Python
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Ether Barrymore
I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!
Archie Bunker
A friend is one who would help you move. A best friend is one who would help you move a body.
Jeff Wayman
Optimist — The sort of man who marries his sister's best friend.
H. L. Mencken
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Groucho Marx
Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.
Sam Ewing
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Doug Larson
Of all the friends I've ever had, you're the first.
Bender, Futurama.
She's my best friend. She thiks I'm too thin, and i think she's a natural blonde.
Carrie Snow.
Friends are people who borrow books and set wet glasses on them.
E.A.Robinson.
A friends is someone who will hide you.
Philip Roth.
Friends help you move.real friends help you move bodies.
Milton Berle.
A friend is someone you don't have to talk any more once the food is on the table.
Sabrina Matthews.
my mother used to say, there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum-security twilight home in Australia.
Dame Edna Everage.
A true friend is one who stabs you in the front.
Oscar Wilde.
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
Bernard Meltzer
Laughter is the shortest distance between two friends.
Victor Borge
My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion-a spontaneous aversion to the man I loved.
Colette.
A friend is someone who will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
Erma Boombeck.
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman.
Harry Truman said, If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog' but I don't need one because I have Barbara.
George Bush Sr.
The great thing about befriending recovering alcoholics is that you're never short of a ride home.
Billy Connolly.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
Doug Larson
If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
Harry S. Truman
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin
Forsake not an old friend, for the new is not comparable to him. A new friend is a new wine; when if is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.Unknown
I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!.Warren G. Har
I thought he was my friend, but he betrayed me. If someone points a gun at you and shoots and it doesn't go off, what would you do? If someone is pointing a gun at you and they start putting more bullets into the gun, what would you do?Carlton Dotson
I consider the decision of my colleagues and friends to be the best birthday present. Vladimir Putin
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