Cute Funny Quotes



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Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler

For 70 nights, right across America, I've been getting out there with two ex-lovers and we've been playing songs which are so specific about each of us, you just wouldn't know. We're friends now but we can't forget what happened between us.
Stevie Nicks

My best friend is the one who brings our the best in me.
Henry Ford

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Unknown

A good friend is my nearest relation.
Thomas Fuller

"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."
Tom Petty

It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
Author Unknown

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball.

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
Al Bernstein

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
Konrad Adenauer

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore

When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Henry David Thoreau

May they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength.
The Bible, Judges 5:31

Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Cinderella

It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Love is the beauty of the soul.
St. Augustine

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henry Youngman

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright

I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.
Uri Geller

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
Author Unknown

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
Ivan Panin

Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience.
Samuel Johnson

Most fools think they are only ignorant.
Benjamin Franklin

Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
Notebooks

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeners

One never married, and that was his hell; another did, and that was his.
Robert Burton

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin

Love is the beauty of the soul.
St. Augustine

It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow