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Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
Les Dawson
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler
For 70 nights, right across America, I've been getting out there with two ex-lovers and we've been playing songs which are so specific about each of us, you just wouldn't know. We're friends now but we can't forget what happened between us.
Stevie Nicks
My best friend is the one who brings our the best in me.
Henry Ford
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Unknown
A good friend is my nearest relation.
Thomas Fuller
"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."
Tom Petty
It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Lucille Ball.
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
Al Bernstein
Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
Robert Orben
In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
Konrad Adenauer
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Henry David Thoreau
May they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength.
The Bible, Judges 5:31
Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Cinderella
It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Love is the beauty of the soul.
St. Augustine
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henry Youngman
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.
Uri Geller
The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.
Author Unknown
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
Ivan Panin
Second marriage: the triumph of hope over experience.
Samuel Johnson
Most fools think they are only ignorant.
Benjamin Franklin
Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
Notebooks
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeners
One never married, and that was his hell; another did, and that was his.
Robert Burton
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
Love is the beauty of the soul.
St. Augustine
It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow